Thursday, April 18, 2013

Spilled Milk

Yesterday while I was working in my home office, Sissy wanted to come in and color next to me. Out of the blue the following conversation took place:

Sissy: "Mama, how did you get pregnant with me? Did someone spill milk on you??"
WHAT?!? I instantly burst out laughing, wondering where in the world she comes up with these things, but I decided to just roll with it.
Me: "Yes, Sis. Someone spilled milk on me. That is definitely how I got pregnant."
Sissy: "Well who spilled milk on you?? Was it Daddy??"
Me (trying, and failing, to keep a straight face): "Yes, it was your Daddy."
Sissy: "Well, was it an accident or did he do it on purpose, like throw the glass in your face?"
Me (again, laughing at the craziness of the situation): "Nope, it was definitely on purpose. But joke was on him because guess who started to grow in my belly? YOU!"

We both laughed together for a while, then the next set of questions began:
Sissy: "Well how does your belly go back together? Isn't there a big huge hole with lots of blood when the baby comes out?"
This is where I had to pause. She is at the tender young age of 6. She is too young to know everything, but too old, and way too smart, to be pacified by the story of the stork. So I made a judgment call and dove right in...
Me: "Well, some Mamas do have to have their bellies cut to get their babies out, but most Mamas have them...another way..." *insert uncomfortable pause here as your daughter stares curiously at you* "You see...most babies...well...most babies come out...well...hmmmm....let's see....yikes...they come out from the place that you go potty..."
Yes, I know. Mama Fail. Completely...and miserably...Mama Fail...I'm going to be terrible when I have to actually have "The Talk" with her. I apologize in advance.
Instantly her face turned pure white, then changed to pure red. All within a few seconds.
Sissy: "WHAT?!?! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS!! THAT IS SO DANG GROSS!! I'm NEVER having a kid. Never EVER!! Oh I can't believe that!! I just CAN'T believe that!! SO GROSS!!!"
And that is when I collapsed into a pile of laughter as she digested this "so dang gross" information. J peeked his head into the office to see what all the laughter was about, and as soon as I was able to barely get out "She asked where babies come from," he closed the door and quickly walked away.

And that, folks, is why you NEVER spill milk.


  1. That is absolutely hilarious! You should really enter that first part into like readers digest or something!

  2. Oh my gosh, I really should! Be grateful you have boys! You can just push them off onto Jon when this stuff comes up lol! That's what I plan on doing with my Boy! Oy vey...